Update on Dulcie

Sadly, my search may be over.

On Monday, Oct. 11, 1999, I got a tip that someone had hit and killed Dulcie, and took her away, and was too afraid to tell me. The person who told me this gave me second hand information, as the "reporting party" did not want to be identified. She, however, knows how this endless search has torn me up for over two and half years.

Yesterday, she was able to get a name of the person who did this, after telling the person that I HAD to know who did this so I could get some details and KNOW it was true. Otherwise, I would have doubts...that Dulcie WAS stolen, that the person who did this wanted me to give up as they were getting nervous that perhaps I was getting close to finding her.

That reporting party said that the person who allegedly killed Dulcie was my neighbor's son. His father owned the house next door but recently moved to Boise, Idaho. He recently sold his automotive business here in my town, but his son still works there.

I went there today, to ask what he knew of my dog. He was in total denial that he had anything to do with it, that he knew nothing. I told him that I had heard he was the one who killed my dog, and he said it was probably his brother who did it. He said that his brother was in Bremerton WA, but I did a search for that name in Bremerton and in the state of WA and came up with nothing. My neighbor's son was very defensive and cagey, to say the least. At least, it seems that he knew of SOMETHING about her disappearance, but was not going to give me any information. (He is at least 30 years old, unfortunately, in chronological age only.)

I still need to know what happened. I need to know if she suffered at all, if she was killed instantly, and where her body was taken. I want to find her and bring whatever is left of her, even if it is just bones, home. I want to give her a burial as that is what she deserves. I want to find her collar.

I cannot believe that this person was such a coward, and that for over two and a half years, they lived next door to me, that they heard me call endlessly for her, night after night, day after day, that they passed the sign I painted and put out in front of my house daily and never had the nerve to let me know. Had he left her body, I would not have had to go through the agony of not knowing what happened to my dog.

I would not have gone through the endless crying, the gut-wrenching worrying over whether or not she was stolen and sold for research, or sold to someone who was mistreating her. I would not have been so tormented about whether she was chained up in someone's yard, with no fresh water, no decent food, no shelter.

I would not have spent endless hours begging people to keep their eyes open for her, to look for a female Dalmatian with a heart on her shoulder. I would not have had to drop everything and run to check out every dal in the area spotted by people who cared enough to let me know when a dal was seen. I would not have spent God only knows how much money on phone calls, ads, flyers, postage, and gas.

I would not have lost innumberable hours of sleep, crying and worrying about her, nor felt the frustrations of not being able to find her. I would not have spent countless hours on the computer, searching online shelters and emailing everyone with a found female Dalmatian, on a daily basis, for over two and a half years.

I would not have been so grumpy with my own family, never being able to have any closure with the disappearance of my beloved Dulcie, and had so little understanding from family and "real life" friends who just could not understand why I could not simply get on with my life and forget about this most special and dearest of dogs. And if this most horrible cowardly poorest excuse for a human being ever only confessed to me that an accident had happened, or at least left her body for me to find, I would not still be wondering where she was and if she suffered at all. I would have had my time to grieve for her death but eventually accept it and start to heal.

There would not be thousands of Dalmatian and other animal lovers looking for a dal with a heart on her shoulder all over the world. I would not have been chasing false leads, and I would not have had to endure the crush of each and every ensuing disappointment.

I do not know if or when I can forgive this person and anyone who knew about this. I do not feel forgiveness will be forthcoming until I know the entire story, and have the answers that I need for closure. I cannot forgive someone who does not feel regret, and who does not wish for forgiveness.

I would hope that anyone who reads this story will never do what this person has done to me and to my family. I would hope that if anyone ever hits a dog, that they notify someone...someone who lives nearby: vets, animal control, law enforcement. No one should ever have to go through this kind of agony, the pain of not knowing. There is nothing worse than endless questions and worry. I would hope that those who work with animals, in whatever capacity, will be willing to take the information on dogs and cats that have been killed and keep that information on file for grieving families. I will be asking for this much compassion on my stolen and missing pets page. Not knowing is hell, and is the ultimate in cruelty. I still do not know with 100% certainy that this is all true. It is still a struggle to deal with this information.

I will be adding a page to honor Dulcie and the legacy she has given me and many others...both human and canine. I had the names of the parties involved on this page, but removed them and substituted the acronyms above...I had them there for 24 hours anyway, but I knew I could not leave them there and place a link on Dulcie's page with the names and put my family (including my critters) at risk for any retribution from this "family". It was my way of getting out some of the anger towards this ultimate cruelty and cowardice. It was a way to scream out at the injustices and unbelieveable cruelty that some "humans" are capable of.

I am hoping that those with Dulcie's banner on their websites might consider leaving it there for now. Dulcie has so many many friends, and she has brought them to me. Through her story, pictures and website, she has helped so many other dals and other dogs, and she has inspired people to get into rescue, and to adopt one or more Dalmatians (and other dogs needing homes). She has helped to alert people to the possibilities of pet theft, and many dogs have been chipped and/or tattooed because of her disappearance. I would like to see her story continue to help other dogs. This would be a lasting legacy to a dog I consider one of God's greatest gifts to those who love and care for animals, and certainly has been one of my life's greatest blessings. Dulcie has been more than just my dog, as she in some ways belongs to everyone.

I would also like to thank those who have expressed such heartfelt condolences on this recent development. I want to thank those who have prayed, hoped, sent good thoughts and wishes for Dulcie's recovery. The emails and posts have truly helped me to know even more how special she was and how she touched so many lives. I will be answering emails as soon as I am able to...right now, I am still kind of stumbling along and am trying to come to grips with this. I will continue to fight for the truth, to get to the bottom of this. I will continue to help those with lost, stolen and missing pets, and with Dal rescue. I am just going to take a little breather and may not get back on all this as soon as I would like.

All the love that has poured forth for my girl is overwhelming and uplifting. It does help. I know that Dulcie has tried in her way to let me know what happened, but I was not able to see the signs that were there. I will be making a page for her in the next few days that will show this....I did not want to give up the hope that I would find her.

If only I could find out the answers so I would KNOW with all my heart that I am not giving up too soon.

Hold the Fort...Questions and Arguments

October 14, 1999

I am having a great many doubts. I have so many questions that need to be answered, before I throw in the towel and give up. There are too many things that do not make sense.

IF someone were to hit and kill a dog directly in front of its house, and they were afraid to own up to the family of that dog, WHY would they stop, get out of the car to pick up the dog, and risk being seen?

HOW could a neighbor seriously listen to a broken hearted person call out for that dog, day and night, for such a long time and never find some way to let that person know the dog was dead? (I have not had any problems with these neighbors at all, even though we'd only lived at this house for less than a year. There would be no reason for him to want to give me any grief.)

IF this were to happen, would no one close to this family say a word for two and a half years? Would this be such a secret that not one person would hear of it and say something?

What if someone has a grudge against this person and wants to cause him some problems? There are people out there who seem to thrive on causing suspicions and animosity, and there is nothing worse than being falsely accused or even suspected of doing something or being someone despicable. (Been there, done that.) And, anyone who is under false suspicions has the "right" to act like a jerk. (Though I must admit the things this man said to me went way beyond the boundaries of just mere "jerkdom".)

What if the anonymous person in this development actually knows something about Dulcie, where she is or what happened to her, and wants to get me off the track for whatever reason?

I do have my work cut out for me, as this is the one solid lead that I have had in all this time, but I do not feel I can give up on Dulcie entirely, based on what amounts at this time to a rumor. It gives me a direction to go in, but I can't just accept this as truth and let go of my search...not just yet. It looks like this could be true, but until I have a confession and some kind of evidence, something that makes me know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is true, I don't feel comfortable with giving her up for dead. Not until I know for a fact that she was killed. I still want to know, if this is true, whether or not she suffered, if she was killed instantly, where her body is and where her collar is.

As far as I am concerned, Dulcie was stolen...dead or alive, she was taken away without my knowledge or permission, and that constitutes theft. I will continue to work on finding out all I can, but til then....I have to keep some thread of hope alive, no matter how small that is.

I am feeling utmost frustration not only with this dilemma, but our isp is down and I cannot upload this nor can I post to lists, boards, or email about my resolve to not give up until I know exactly what happened then.

Dulcie, my beloved spotted girl, I love you. I will find out the truth.